My Diary . My life . My feelings.......................

2008-08-10T13:43:00.000-07:00

My life in UK.......

2 years living in Uk is not so long as i had first imagine..bt what i had gone thru these 2 years is not totally bitter yet most of the time i did feel loneliness...

bt i really feel i am the lucky one can come here and if i was given the second chance i would choose to come here without hesitation ...

this is the place where i lost my confidence the most and this is the place where i had struggle to abandon my kia su attitude in order to keep myself sane when come to exam...bt at the end my effort paid and i had graduated with second upper...never in my life feel so happy when receiving the result ...most of the time i only felt that that was the result i was obliged to get in order not to disappoint my parents.. (weird?? i feel the same too..hihi)

there was one time my confidence was so low that i had intended to run away from manchester with any method i could ...as all these year my confidence came mainly from my good perfirmance in academy..that is the only way i had excell compare to other throughout my growing path...
bt i could not confide to anyone ard me as they all were so good in result they gt and they just could not really understand how hard for me to accept the truth..how dump i had become..
Not only that bt also i cant really mix well with people surronunding me evrytime went out 'socialising'...either in pub or party..
i was not really i at the time ..i was too quiet, i always nod my head and evrytime ppl approach me to speak i would think is he talking to me or just wana gt to know my best buddy...it is only when i spent my holiday in newcastle and gt to know a new bunch of frens that is the time i realise that people with different character tend to mix tgt..and one dun have to be excell in academy in order to have confidence..just be urself and i dun have to please anyone or care for what they think abt me..if u wanna ppl to like you first you must care them with your true heart.
though i am still clumsy in caring other, in showing my concern, and expressing my thought, i am better now..thanks to my parent who never give me up when i was so depressed at that time..luckily never go into depression..=)

and i had grown up,,from a little gal blur in all things,especially in direction to a person who is now expert in looking map!!haha, that is because i was forced to bring my parents ard paris and london without any assistance from others, while at the same time have to think thousand ways of saving money and making sure my parents were comfortable during the journey..luckily all went smo0thly wihout having any big trouble..bt i realise that my mum and sister has changed a lot ..my mum hate travelling bt she din complain much this time as she can sense my tense i suppose ,.n my little sister has turned mature so much that she is the one cheer me up and shared my worry ..love my family so much though i always hope my parent can express their love in more overt way..may be it is the culture problem..n i do envy those old english couple who still hold each other's hand so tightly..oo..their love seem so deep to each!!so lovely !!

oo..above is my graduation photo..pictures paint thousand words, so i save my breath not in elaborating my feeling>>>hihi

2008-01-08T09:10:00.000-08:00

My korkor..

he alway so successful, always so determined to do one thing, always noe how to handle the stress...though i am not as excellent as him, i wish i can own half of his determination ...choon a , jia you!! i dun wannna succumb to the fear..not when i havent start to fight ...

2007-12-17T12:17:00.000-08:00

...............

always wish there is someone can accompany me to study until midnight..
always hope someone can be there to push me to study more when i am lazy..
always wish someone can like my kor always inspire me to face my fear,,but now he seem like always busy with his job..
always wish there is someone like my mum prepare food for me when i facing the exam..

i know i cant be too greedy now..all i need to do is bear with it 8 more months..

all i want now is just a simple word can do-gambate,,but y some ppl dun understand, or they have their own way of expressing it n it is just me cant grasp it....

2007-12-15T11:27:00.000-08:00

long time din blog ...dun noe whnat to tell..lazy to upload photos as well..now busy preparing for my revision ..stressful...as usual, i am kind of lost now cz not enough time to study..my frens coming to find me , which is a good thing but i just too scare when they go back i will back to the cruel reality..so must study more before they come..

this few days busy too,...first is my da ka jie's graduation, then folowed by ytd xmas dinner..celebrated it earlier cz one fren going back today..so for 3 consecutive days i had beem eating, eating n eating....=) n my da ka jie brought me to the proper italian restaurant to treat me...i think so far is one of the most expensive dinner i had ..haha,,the funny part was we ordered to much food..after the starter, which is 2 soups n one plate full wiht fried seafood and meat , we aldy felt full n we couldnt finihs our main course ..ai, so no space keep fpr dessert..=(

but aft celebration , now dunnoe why feel empty, maybe i am kind of tired of handling all the things by myself...the week b4 i was sick the whole week..first was the sorethroat, followed by fever n cough..then stomachache for 2 continuing days..cant sleep for 2 night n eventually broke down n cried at 4am...so funny, i think i may gt some serious disease..haha, my imagination is good enough..may be i read too many cases concering clinical negligence..bt just too scare cz dun now what wrong with me and i dun dare to tell my family//..

that week warn me how precious my health is..

now i am totally recover..n i am continuing back my bad habit..sleep ard 4 smt..that iss bcz exam coming..n i have no choice..just pray hard my sorethroat n fever wont come back ...

oya..the picture was taken in oslo with my da ka jia..will upload it aft exam ..paiseh, tey, really no time to upload..

this exam is very important to me..it decides what grade i will get..i dun wann crash the hope i have ..i hope i wil be strong enough to meet my fear...jia you to me =)

2007-10-25T06:02:00.000-07:00

My apolozy to my frens

sorry ,i really mean it to those friends who i have neglected...especially xinyi , eleanor, and many more...i have been tried many times to log in to this page but forgot the password and that y delayed till now..

el, promise will find u the next timei go back...sorry ///

n tey, thanks for the song...u always send me the song at the right timing..as now i am getting bored with the song in my computer..

I dunnoe what happend to me last few months but sometimes i felt lazy to take initiatives to contact people...as i always hope people will contact me first instead...so after few attempts to call ppl , to email them then i will start to give up cz i gt upset easily...My ego...-_-
what kind of ego is that???/
(EMmmmmmm????..hihi)

okie..will try hard to change that..

well, this year in manchester life is pretty happening...next monday will go to prague, later will go to Oslo, norway and may be later will go to visit my da kar che in birmingham!!!

so life wont be as boring as last year..

but y i still feel so empty in my heart >???i have been tried to mix around n socialise more and talk to more ppl but now i feel suddenly i am bored with who i am now...

someone told me :be urself n u dun really need to force myself to mix ard with the people u feel not really comfortable with

bt my another fren told me that since i am going ot be a lawyer, this is the socialising skill which u need to equip urself with this socialicing skill

start to picture how my future may be ???i wanna be a successful carreer woman with high confidence abt myself or just wanna be happy n find a nice guy maybe?

i am not so high ambition now..just wanna concentrate on my study and travel more perhaps..

this is the thing that i have some control over..stop day-dreaming!!=)

2007-08-01T01:02:00.000-07:00

My working experiences...

this week will be my 5th week working in legal firm..
well, overall the experience is great as meet lots of people with different characters ..some of them are funny, outspoken, talkative or hardworking , smart or caring persons ...

really learn lots ...and expose me earlier to the adult's world as well as the legal occupation..and manage to get a deeper insight in it but it also at the same time make me wonder am i suitable to be a solicitor?

chambering students all need to work till at least 8-9pm and that is considered as the minimum working time for them//....this idea really intimidate me..and there are always tonnes of deadlines and format u have to comply with...omg, i really cant imagine how am i going to counter this by the time i become chambering student...-_-

then the next question will be am i choosing the right subject to study???well, i wld say that law is still pretty interesting , just that the workload is really heavy..

and as a chambering or attachment student normally we cant choose the works to do..so even it is a brainless work u have to do..

yeah, aft attachment wanan enjoy my holiday...will go to pigpig in singapore i guess..hopefully tey can go as well, then 3 of us can gather after such a long time we din gather ...now my holiday left abt one month and actually i am quite reluctant to go back...i can foresee i need to work really hard in order to push my grade up...so CANT LEPAK ANYMORE..

oya...there is still some exciting thing waitign me ahead..i will be the purplr people..haha..so glad that i can be one of the members,,i will try my best to assist other and hopefully can help the new students like last time how the purple people help me...but really i a bit worry given anyone who know me well will know that i have no sense of direction...how if i lead the new students to the wrong place ???/-_-'

god, pls dun let it happen///....=O

k, write till here..

2007-04-20T15:42:00.000-07:00

i wish there is somebody there when i am depressed,
i wish there is somebody there when i need a companion
i wish i can hear a familiar voice when i wana cry....
i wish there is someone when i noe my result that time, but there is no one.

i wish somebody can scold me when i am thinking all these unrealistic things and urge me go back study..i dun wan the history repeat but i am heading towards that dicrection/./

what i want to do now, what i need to do now and i should do now is juts one thing -study,
i noe pretty well but forgive me i am complaining again......

evryone is feeling stressul, nervous and helpless, i noe i am not the only one, but i am the only one so useless...time for me to jia you..i dun wan me even look dwn at myself..

2007-04-12T13:49:00.000-07:00

a joke

-which i copy fr tc's blog-

草原上有二只牛在吃草。

白牛问：你的草是什么口味啊？

黑牛答：草莓味。

白牛赶紧走过去，吃了说：哪有草莓味？

黑牛大声的答：蕃薯, 我是说-草-没-味！=)

2007-04-07T06:23:00.000-07:00

What i call -Legal 'nonsense".....

Essentially, law has three nonsense:

1) one will say an extreme form of statement A, then another comments totally opposite side of statement B, then the next person will say we need to strike a balance between A & B, but the thing is how to strike a balance????& even that balance may be struck, then one will still say it is more towards statement A or B...so the argument will go on and on and forms the circularity of arguments....-_-

2)another is there is a conflict of moral principle A and principle B , then the question arises wil be is it possible to reconcile between these 2 arguments??Discuss.... -_-"

this make me sweating...cz the standard answer my gn p lecturer taught will be first, to soma extent, we can agree, but on certain points we can disapprove this argument-

then the conclusion will be sometime can , sometime cant, DEPEND THE CIRCUMSTANCES!!!!!(which make me sick!!)

3)the last will be there is always a general rule A, but in some circumstances there will be excptions in circumstances B, C and D...........
then the question wil be is it true that such general rules A still a valid claim or statement, assess and evaluate it..........

that is all the nonsense i am learning , sometimes i feel it is fun , sometimes it is funny but most of the times it make me feel confuse....

Wah, y suddenly my comment sounds like being influenced by this what i call " nonsense', as what i just say can be just = sometime i feel A , sometimes i feel C,( both positive sense) but most of the time i feel the opposite of B( negative sense) ...

haha...get it??if u dun get it, dun worry cz i also feel that i am talking nonsense too =)

2007-04-01T13:06:00.000-07:00

phobia to exam

6 weeks left fr my exam..rational mind tells me i must study, bt i just went to the totally opposite side- spending 2 days to finish 42 episode drama series..

haha..break my own record-okie, time to study..

battle starts...aft that wil be able to go back to my sweet home..
bt that also means time to say good bye to marina -my da ka jie
-_-

i dun wanan say sorry to myself n my family this time..i hate myself for having such a weak personality....time to find back my confidence

ps:glad to noe tey has her own ambition, i wanna find my direction in my life too..
tey, i support u...

2007-03-08T11:36:00.000-08:00

my result was out...it was worst...havent tell my family yet,,waitng morning only can call back..

how to tell them>>??i got 43 for my employment law, result i never even expect i will gt .other 2 -one 62 for equity n trust , another 55 for european union law..

first time in my life i ask wat is the passing mark.....
i thought i would do badly for e& T but never expect my employament n eu law will get so bad mark.

papa sure very dissappointed with me....
well, it is a truth , which i must accept, a lesson which i must learn and a price i need to pay for my laziness...though i may need sometime to accept it and heal from it..

2007-03-06T13:11:00.000-08:00

人的一生會遇上的四個人

REad an article, find that wat it say is quite true, though not wholly.

人生就是為了找尋愛的過程，
每個人的人生都要找到四個人

第一個是自己,
第二個是你最愛的人，
第三個是最愛你的人，
第四個是共度一生的人.

首先會遇到你最愛的人，然後體會到愛的感覺；
因為了解被愛的感覺，所以才能發現最愛你的人；
當你經歷過愛人與被愛，學會了愛，才會知道什麼是你需要的，
也才會找到最適合你，能夠相處一輩子的人。
但很悲哀的，在現實生活中，這三個人通常不是同一個人；
你最愛的，往往沒有選擇你；
最愛你的，往往不是你最愛的；
而最長久的，偏偏不是你最愛也不是最愛你的，
只是在最適合的時間出現的那個人。
你，會是別人生命中的第幾個人呢？
沒有人是故意要變心的，他愛你的時候是真的愛你，
可是他不愛你的時候也是真的不愛你了，
他愛你的時候沒有辦法假裝不愛你；

你呢？找到了第幾個？
茫茫人海中，你遇見了誰？誰又遇見了你？

2007-02-17T16:40:00.000-08:00

Valentine's day............

this year valentine's day was quite special to me..cz i , my da ka jie-marina n her flatmates had potluck together & each of us served western food..=)

Firts, was the starter-mussel & garlic bread , prepared by Nok..

it tasted so fanstastic...its standard can compare to the high class restaurant!!!
n oya, also not forget to mention the small brownish mushroom ball...n the sauce...the sauce was prepared by her..omg...so talented in cookking..but too bad when we asked how to prepared, she said it was her secret recipe....( aa,,...wanna learn hw to make it..it was so nice)

then it was followed by the main course-hungarian rice ..

haha..this time i got the recipe..shd be able to cook ...then can show off to my mum when i back to malaysia..haha

as u can see, the texture of the rice was so nice..omg..i shdnt write blog at such late hour..my stomach protesting aldy///..

then, was my turn...em..i prepared lamb chop..since when i so good in cooking???nono...actually i played cheat...the sauce i bought the instant packet but i did marinate the lamb chop n spend a long time in grilling the lamp chop///it was quite time consuming as u have to keep checking the lamp chop ..to make sure it was cooked but at the same time not overcook..

so i did pay effort to it,k?!!=)

so how was it??not too bad, right??

when one having western food, sure will have dessert- at tht night it was tiramisu..

prepared by marina..n it was actually i taught marina how to make it..haha..i am so proud of it..so if u wanna eat tiramisu treat me nicer =D

okie ..that all was my special valentine's day in uk//...oya..we also had red wine tat night//really funny...

2007-02-11T15:55:00.000-08:00

sweet hometown will be less one more fren.....

em...apek going to fly tmr...that means even we gt chance to gather tgt then will be lesser ppl...
somemore even one day we all will back to malaysia..but that time will we still have the passion to gather tgt???

secondary school life so far is one of the best memory in my life...too many good memory in it...made me at one time keep thinking the stupid question : if i have choice, i will choose to remain at that time....but now i not really think so cz life moves on...n if u keep thinking back, that only will make ur life suffering..

friends that we will trust without hesitation, without affraid of being utiliised by other..frens we can say anything we like straightly without fear that those words will offend other...
maybe that was because that time we still a minor n not yet an adult...evryone's mind is as pure as a white paper..or maybe because of the accumulation of time...let us understand each other more n tying us up tgt...whatever the reasons are, i am lucky cqan meet so many kind ppl .....

by the time we all gather tgt...wonder how the feeling wil be..n how far each of us has grown up in the journey of life?? because of these memories make my heart always be with my hometown no matter where i am ....=)

2007-01-22T13:27:00.000-08:00

the first exam paper i did really badly..that time really hope have someone can come n console me...but this time i chose not to call anyone n cry ....cz there is no point if i keep continue like that..korkor still is my mental supporter, cz everytime i did badly ffor exam, he is the one inspire me..that day cried too, but cried is normal to me..as no exam so far in my life i never cry..if u find one day i never cry for my exam,,then i am something wrorng...

but aft the first paper, i though i will be very sad...but duunnoe y i seem numb to it...today my second paper did badly again, though not as bad as the 1st one...emm...guilty just now wen my papa called..all these while i used to be very lucky in the exam but definitely not this time...manchester system is totally different ,..u can never predict wat it will come out in the exam..so u must study earlier..this is the lesson i learn...but i hope the price i need to pay wont be so high...

this exam i wanna learn how to control my emotion..this time i did better cz not like last time keep calling ppl just to make me feel better...a small improvement oo>>>still got last paper...yeah..after exam will play card overnight with frens ..sure willl be fun , right???=)

2007-01-09T16:02:00.000-08:00

i really dunnoe how to overcome my fear now//...

my mind refuse to absorb any info, refuse to study..but i cant go to sleep as well..i try to relax..talking to frens ard me..but seem like not use to me as everyone here also very stressful..

i dun wanna show my depressed face to ppl ard me to make them more stressful, ii hope i can inspire ppl to study but i cant do that..instead, i am a burden ...this is not wat i want..

i dun dare to tell the truth to my korkor n family on the phone, pretending that i am strong enuff..pretanding that i am hardworking enuff....

ytd call to korkor .thinking that he is the only one can inspire me study, but i become more stressful aft that..realising more i need to study..

marina go back here will be better ma???she wil also very stressful i think///cant pass my fear to ppl ard me.....

overcome my fear, i wanna overcome it...

2007-01-04T12:02:00.000-08:00

Home letter more precious than tonnes of gold

Receiving letter from home yesterday..Dunnoe why tears naturally dropping from my eyes....at that moment just feel that my empty heart suddenly feel warmer...

the same also occurred wen receive tey tey's xmas card/....but not crying that time.//=)but really appreciate it...

now only realise jia1 shu1 di3 wan4 jin1-home letter more precious than tonnes of gold

Really excited coz my family , though i noe they love me, but they never say it out..

thse few days my heart keep palpitating fastly cz exam left 2 weeks//..even aft talking with frens felt better but aft a while nervous again..

really dunnoe wat i am scared of.exam is not everything, but still, it is a major thing in my life thus far..

gambate >>gambate , keep gambateing..lih choon!!!

2006-12-21T15:17:00.000-08:00

a battle between devil and angel

Dear Santa,

recently there has been a battle btw angel and devil in my mind...
following is the conversation between them...

devil: dun worry too much,just a small exam..n only 15 % counted, so dun worry too much..iif tired go to sleep first,,,or go watch drama series first relax..

angel: hey...if u dun overcome ur fear now by working extra hard, then u will be a loser in ur life!!!overcome ur fear( emm..y sound like my lovely teacher , miss jaspal?????)

summary above is the essence of their coneversation..
aa,,,but i am frustrated now, and my mind fluctuating btw this two creature ..

so pls, my dear dear Santa yeryer, pls let the angel in my mind win the battle eventually,,...

that is the only wish for my xmas this year...

Love,.
pig

2006-12-13T12:09:00.000-08:00

ya...today really feel better....it was too long a story which i dun wanna mention this unpleasant memory ......

today , my flat corridor seemed quieter than usual...more ppl going back ,,,rooms opposite me all with light off, msn no more ppl on9 at the night time, all these suddenly make the loneliness in my heart expands...

but no matter how, cant cause troubles to marina n shi wen ,,,cant pass my worry to them...independence, i need most now..

think on the positive side, maybe that is good for me as god is asking me time to concentrate to my study,,..'overcome my fear, as miss jaspal said, if not it will only keep expanding n i noe clearly i wanna stop it....

em...ya...life not too bad cz this fri will go to have dim sum n next sat is my london trip...hurray!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

ya, jackson, thanks ,,,n i will think positively......

2006-12-11T15:22:00.000-08:00

tmr is my last seminar for trust.....last chance for asking teacher..& today is my last day ask my genius fren & wednesday more frens go back
-suddenly feel so lost...

but, no matter how pressure i am, tmr must smile to others..as everyone here also as stressful as me..cant continuously like that...dun wanan like form four tat time-like the bao1 gong1 face..............scary, not cute at all!!!!

just wanan find a field n run all the way////////
n wanan scream as loud as i can....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa!!!!!!!11

okie...imagine enuff,
dun wanna spoit my image....though since the beginning i dun have any image at all...
-_-'

2006-12-10T07:01:00.000-08:00

'after raining, the rainbow willl come out....'

everytime wen there is somebody i like i will give up first b4 the love can grow, b4 any chance can develope btw us...
tat day talking with fren, only realise we ar same,
wen come to love, we always at the passive side.....as to me dignity is more importnat...n i just scared, scare that i will gt hurt again...

now i am relieved ....cz i no longer cast any hope on that guy who i continue to hope that he will turn his head back n look at me..

"[eureka'!!!''...i am no longer bound by this curse...distance n time really can help one forget everything...=)

now.,,,,i wanan concentrate on my study..pa, ma ,,,sorry i was not a good gal here...but fr now , wanna be a good, a rajin gal ....aa...but that means the power of my glasses will increase again -_-'

2006-12-09T09:31:00.000-08:00

these few days luckily got marina accompany me, if not really dunnoe how to survive here, especially wen the exam period coms, it is always the time i miss home most//////she is like a da ka jie to me...nice to hav a big sister to take care of me...so even friends all later will go back soon to malaysia, i think my life here wont be so bad....

today i dun wana complain abt the pass, but wat i can do now..

from now, i dun wanna think how much times i have wasted,
instead how much time i can earn from now...
everytime in exam, desperatey wanna find ppl to talk to..but this time i really dun wanan show my depressed face to other, as that only will demotivate other ppl..

'jia you'-it is a simple word bt really means a lot to me...thanks , thanks for those always support me during exam..it is wer my momentum come from...

so frens, gambate!!life is tough but life wont b so hard bcoz of one's encouragement...=)

2006-12-05T15:59:00.000-08:00

now only left 39 days fr my exam...start can feel the stress...but feel the loneliness first as quite a lot of frens will go back to home country to celerate x mas...

feel insecured cz the fren who helps me lots in study go bc as well...emmm.i said b4 that i will try not to rely on ppl for study but i jz cant, really need one to guide me in study...at least one i can discuss with ....wat shd i do now???all teacher will go on their vacation for xmas,....no one can i ask...i am all by my own...

aa...today watch series continuously for more than 8 hours as dun wanan back to study....broke my record in my life again...

dun worry th thing i cant do, but instead i shd focus the thing i can do now....

okie...wanna finish 3 certainty's note today, if not , i dun wanna sleep!!!!!!!

2006-11-21T12:35:00.000-08:00

i am scared,
jz discuss the exam questions with my fren , he seems to noe everything . conversly i noe nothing at all.///-_-
though he is helpful , bt i cant trouble ppl so much...
okie..will gambate to solve the problem so thtat next time i wont that blur///....
too many need to study yet even aft did much study i cant solve the problem..

miss jaspal said 'overcome ur fear'...
ya, teacher,i will try to solve my problem bit by bit/...i will overcome it myself...

bt really though i always push my sis to study, bt wen come to me, i cant,...emm...hope my kor is here inspire me to study....hope min lee, emily is here sp we can gambate tgt..hope miss jaspal is here, saying to me that u must overcome ur fear, overcome it..

all these encouraging words i noe,,,,bt i jz cant do it thse few days//..it is time to concentrate..n no time cryin....

okie,,,,vent all my emotion aldy..wnana back to study....jia you oo!!! n i am not alone, at least my sis is fighting her exam battle as well...must think positively...jia you =O

2006-11-20T11:59:00.000-08:00

these 2 days dun noe y aft eating dinner feel like vomiting...is it bcz i am getting sick of abc soup or is it bcz of the chicken cause the problem///..-_-
OKIE...NO MORE ABC SOUP THIS WEEK....

anywer...no matter how unwell i am, still need to gambate today!!!wanna finsh the essay today !!!gambate to me...!!! somore the handsomee teacher so nice , say can mark for my paper,,,okie...dun wanan disappointed him!!!hihi=)

oya...here is so cold now...alll the trees almost bold n the interesting thing is my good fren/s room just opposite me, n cz the tree is botak now, can peep her and we een waive to each other while talking to the phone...haha, funny...that is the funny part of hostel life...ooo...so cool!!!haha....but also cant do any embarrassed thing otherwise let her noe then i cham lo...

okie....write till here....i better work harder fr now ..dun wanan regret!!!

2006-11-02T11:49:00.000-08:00

frustrated..l.

too much i need to study/..bt i am lost....
try tto concentarte the whole day bt i just fail to do so..
no one i can rely on, no one i can ask...

ytd having a long talk with the genius in my class, feel even inferior y i am so lazy...

i know clearly wat i need to do, bt just cant evn take the first step to do so///...
i keep saying 'gamabet' to myself bt now, i even have no energy to say so...

overcome ur fear, i always say to others bt this time my fear bcome larger n larger..

fighting..this is my own battle, n i have tio fight till the end...tired, bt life stilll need to carry oon...jia you la.,,, tan lih choon!!!!

2006-10-26T17:04:00.000-07:00

since i came here, never really miss home like today...
dunnoe y>>???bt i think it is normal since i also wonder y till now only i start getting homesick...

really lucky i feel since i reached here as gt lots of ppl there willing to help u without hopinng any benefit in return...(thanks to my mum'pray..hihi)

paiseh....having me as a fren is , honestly, very troublesome ..cz i always blur, bad in computer and there is nothing i good at...so always end up to keep giving troubles to ppl ard me..(old fren shd noe how blur i was and am...haha)
i am sorry bt i jz feel helpless wn coming to deal with all the administratibve and phone stuffs....

here,, there is 3 ppll i meet here make me feel i am not lonely..
first is marina, shi wen and tc...

they ar the ones who always have to listen to my complaints , always there wen i nedd assistance...

marina, a very nice gal who cooked me the tomyam soup wen i fell sick that time..
really touced that time...is like my "da ka jie'...
and she is the one who dun mind to walk far to buy stuffs//...so we always walk to shop which is 20minute walking distance fr our place....so can save $$$ for ttransport...(haha..see, i am such a good gal..)...so happy can find a fren that can accompany me wen shopping../

b4 i came manchester, so scared tat i can never meet any closed fren here...bt luckily. bside marina, shi wen is the fren i lepak with most of the time..(ks, her name is shi wen, bt gt bf aldy ok???so u have no chance la...disapointed?? =) )
back to topic, emm...she is a very nice, kind and outstanding, pretty gal , bt also as blur as me(bt mayb i am worse)...so that y we can be good fren ,,haha,,cz blur ppl can mix well with blur ppl...alway lend me books to photocopy., explain seminar question to me bt at the same time always wana be the "matchmaker' for me....haha & always go shopping tgt...n the problem is now we actually lepak and lepak longer time ...like today leapk till the day getting dark then only wnan bc home..=)

the last person i wanana thank is tc..he is the one told me wer to put the bag in the plane, the one who borrowed me his phone to call bc home upon reaching manchester, the one who is my hk series provider and the one who gave me the free ticket to watch movies...& the one who always help me to buy bread n chicken pies..and the one who "stole' or more correctly " take witout permission"' the sandwich for us during orientation and the one who dun mind walking to asda(which is 20 min walking distance) just to take all the freshers there.. and the one who chat with me wen i lonely...oya,,,and the "egg-kaya& chicken rice"" =)

ya, he is a person that treat very nice to all ppl...n wont discriminate agst ppl..unlike some guys, only give special treatment and assitance to pretty gals only....that y we all the freshers very respect him..(Tc, feel proud?? =)
& really feel paiseh n thanks,thanks for helping me so much since i came here..)

n Ya,bcoz of these 3 nice nice ppl, i never feel lonely here...

ok, that is the happy part of my life here, bt now, today, starting to feel more n more stressful aft having conversation with my classmates duriong celebrtation for joshua's bod...my classmates ard me all study very consistantly, very hardworking and in comparison, i am such a lazy worm, always feel lost in the class, dunnoe what the lecturers talking abt in class and seminar...
all frens seemd understand wat the teachers teaching and i am the one who blur totally fr the beginning of the class till the class end..
never in my life have that kind of feelig that i will fail for my exam.,,,..

i just cant find time to study, even i gt time, i study very slow cz the textbbok is so hard to undersatnd...i cant tell my family the problem i facing..so evreytime they ask abt study i will lie...
they alway thought that i am very hardworking bt actualluy i am not..that y i feel more n more gui;ty right & tired now................

and to make thing worst , i din buy any textbook here cz they ar so expensive and i really getting tired of having to rush to library and return the short loan book b4 11.45am...really will gt heart attack if u cant return it on time cz the fine is RM14 for late return....-_- and i kena fine of rm rm2 8 aldy...and the law book so many ppl waiting to borrow it, so i have to queqe in order to gt the book i want,..then have to do all the phocopying work myself cz here, photocopying is self-service...

now is 2 ,15am aldy,,,wnna go to sleep ..tmr will be better , i think,... and gambate to me!...and really dun wanana cry for the coming exam....so i better gambate fr now and dun wanan be a pig pig anymore!!!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@..........

2006-10-16T16:38:00.000-07:00

emm....quite a long time didnt upload my profile....
cz only willl write it wen i sad or feel depressed..bt today diferrent, jz feel like wanna summarise how my life is in this lovely city...haha

Since i came to manchester, surprisingly i have adapted well to the life here...it isnt as lonely as i thought my life here would be.....Paradoxically, it is fulled of fun and joys....as i meet a lot of nice people here, either on the plane or in the uni itself......

till now, i havent gt really homesick yet.....instead i Love the hostel life so much..-cz can talk crap everyday without getting tired of it...haha///omg...i also wonder since wen i become so chatty.....=O
,though at the same time feeling guilty as my study and homeworks start to piling up...
so everyday will be feel so guilty wen in the class...bt aft that, just ignore it..then next morning regret again...

ai....wish there is someone can scold me to wake up fr the laziness...cant really concentrate thse few days...just wondering why??is that bcz i lepak for such a long period or i just trying to run away fr the problem i m facing???
i really dun wana be a crying baby that always cry b4 exam...wen will i learn my lesson??

Here, although dun have teh tarik, dun have roti canai,,,bt still, i still lepaking a lot...
most of the time we lepak in china town to have all the nice food, especially the dim sum...it is the nicest i have ever taste...it is so yummy....but now cant really 'lepaking' so much , cz no $$$$$ aa....

-_-

somemore till now i still cant cook well...almost evry single meal i cook failed....ai...
really miss my's mum food...i wanna eat chili's prawn aa!!!!!!!!!...but wat can i do...who ask me so lazy to learn to cook last time..
that y suffer now....

okie....that is a short summary how my life here..and really, i noe, i must focus on my study now...dun wanan feel guilty everytime i call bc home....

gambate!!!!!, cant be <)-@@-(> anymore !!!!!!!!!

2006-09-07T10:23:00.000-07:00

now still have abt one weeks will be my departure date ....
met few friends today,actually i am so happy can meet them again ...but this is also the last time i see them before i fly off....

Suddenly, just realize that the time i left here is not so much aldy,,,so feel a little bit sadnesss at the deep of my heart..cz friends that i treasure are no more by my side...

but still, i think i am lucky....feel touched when they all came n gave me "hug hug" b4 we went bc...=)

mentally, i am still not prepare fuly yet....but i know no matter how tough the life is, i am still the luckier..cz my fanmily sacrifice a lot for my tuition fee..
so, cant disappointed them....i believe i can do it, but just give me some time to adapt to it...

i no longer waiting for the guy who i loved,,,as i wont see him frequently,wont hear fr him oftenly.... so glad that i can throw this burden behind me eventually...do i manage to do that???i am sure i can...

2006-09-02T09:11:00.000-07:00

My penang's trip.......

Penang, a trip i will never forget...there were so many nice food there-the most i remember was the cha que tiaou.....my friend ate it every single meal in Penang without getting sick of it!!!!!

The uniqueness of it is that it always comes together with 2 big big prawns on it...make it looked so yummy!!!! Eating,is the main & only thing we did in Penang......
the nicest meal is the seafood near the fishing village...(forgot the name aldy)....
but also the most expensive meal we had....

AAA,also the cendol & the penang ccoconut u can never miss them if u go to penang!!!!

the coconut is not the ususl type we found in Johor....but according to my peang fren,it called "pandan coconut" ,which supposed to have the pandan taste in it,but i think we were cheated cz i couldn't taste its speciality......-_-

But, still, we enjoyed it!!!haha...can u feel it???

In Penang, we also went to a Sleeping Buddaha temple....the interesting part is that there got a artificail pond and u can throw coin into spinning bowls which stated different trems -like "prosperous", "happy marriage","higher education" .....the happiest thing is that the first coin i threw succesfully dropped into the "prosperous"pot....i was so lucky!!!!!!haha, or can said i am a "Best shooter" !!!!

see, the chance of throwing the coin in at the first attempt is so slim...so hopefully i can become a rich rich gal in the future...haha...(since when i become so realistic???!!!!)

Another thing worth mentioning is that my friend successfully threw the coin into the "happy marriage "pot...she said that one is praying for her brother wor...though i never really believe,,,sure it is a pray for her & her boyfriend's futrure cz she tried several times n found the closest place to stand before throw....=)!!!!!!!

Wish can go to penang again next year i come back malaysia!!!!really thanks to my two penang friends who were the best tour guide ....But the imperfect thing in this trip is that my best friend min lee did'nt go together with us ...

2006-07-03T10:34:00.001-07:00

less than 2 months before i will go to uk, starting to feel nervous going there ,worry that i will become quieter than now......but i noe it definitely is a journey that full with challenges & a crucial step which willl decide my future....
Now keeping to think how the condition will be without me being here....will anyone notice my absence here aft i go to uk?? perhaps it is a good start for me to forget the pass that i couldn't throw away from my memory....three years aldy it had been in my mind...but i noe it is just a matter of time for me to heal from hurt....cause feeling will grow or become weaker as the time pass....that is wat i truely believe....

my result had been released few days ago -4a1B....but i dunnoe how to describe my feeling....unlike my fren who get the same result, jumping n shouting, i can't feel the happiness in my heart...instead i feel like i only fulfill my task, my duty......sometimes i wonder am i too greedy??.....

still remember the day before the resulde relesed i was so helpless.....but this time i told no one coz i noe there will be no shoulder for me to lean when in uk.....it is time for me to be more independent.....n wat make me feel proud is that this final exam i dun need my brother's assistance & though i still cried, but cry lesser n found myself actually i can be stronger than wat i thought...unlike a level that time keep troubling people...haha

now i cant wait for my penang trip on wed.... hopefully it wil be fun n siok!!!=)