a battle between devil and angel


Dear Santa,

recently there has been a battle btw angel and devil in my mind...
following is the conversation between them...

devil: dun worry too much,just a small exam..n only 15 % counted, so dun worry too much..iif tired go to sleep first,,,or go watch drama series first relax..

angel: hey...if u dun overcome ur fear now by working extra hard, then u will be a loser in ur life!!!overcome ur fear( emm..y sound like my lovely teacher , miss jaspal?????)

summary above is the essence of their coneversation..
aa,,,but i am frustrated now, and my mind fluctuating btw this two creature ..

so pls, my dear dear Santa yeryer, pls let the angel in my mind win the battle eventually,,...

that is the only wish for my xmas this year...

Love,.
pig

ya...today really feel better....it was too long a story which i dun wanna mention this unpleasant memory ......

today , my flat corridor seemed quieter than usual...more ppl going back ,,,rooms opposite me all with light off, msn no more ppl on9 at the night time, all these suddenly make the loneliness in my heart expands...

but no matter how, cant cause troubles to marina n shi wen ,,,cant pass my worry to them...independence, i need most now..

think on the positive side, maybe that is good for me as god is asking me time to concentrate to my study,,..'overcome my fear, as miss jaspal said, if not it will only keep expanding n i noe clearly i wanna stop it....

em...ya...life not too bad cz this fri will go to have dim sum n next sat is my london trip...hurray!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

ya, jackson, thanks ,,,n i will think positively......

tmr is my last seminar for trust.....last chance for asking teacher..& today is my last day ask my genius fren & wednesday more frens go back
-suddenly feel so lost...

but, no matter how pressure i am, tmr must smile to others..as everyone here also as stressful as me..cant continuously like that...dun wanan like form four tat time-like the bao1 gong1 face..............scary, not cute at all!!!!

just wanan find a field n run all the way////////
n wanan scream as loud as i can....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa!!!!!!!11

okie...imagine enuff,
dun wanna spoit my image....though since the beginning i dun have any image at all...
-_-'

'after raining, the rainbow willl come out....'





everytime wen there is somebody i like i will give up first b4 the love can grow, b4 any chance can develope btw us...
tat day talking with fren, only realise we ar same,
wen come to love, we always at the passive side.....as to me dignity is more importnat...n i just scared, scare that i will gt hurt again...

now i am relieved ....cz i no longer cast any hope on that guy who i continue to hope that he will turn his head back n look at me..

"[eureka'!!!''...i am no longer bound by this curse...distance n time really can help one forget everything...=)

now.,,,,i wanan concentrate on my study..pa, ma ,,,sorry i was not a good gal here...but fr now , wanna be a good, a rajin gal ....aa...but that means the power of my glasses will increase again -_-'

these few days luckily got marina accompany me, if not really dunnoe how to survive here, especially wen the exam period coms, it is always the time i miss home most//////she is like a da ka jie to me...nice to hav a big sister to take care of me...so even friends all later will go back soon to malaysia, i think my life here wont be so bad....

today i dun wana complain abt the pass, but wat i can do now..

from now, i dun wanna think how much times i have wasted,
instead how much time i can earn from now...
everytime in exam, desperatey wanna find ppl to talk to..but this time i really dun wanan show my depressed face to other, as that only will demotivate other ppl..

'jia you'-it is a simple word bt really means a lot to me...thanks , thanks for those always support me during exam..it is wer my momentum come from...

so frens, gambate!!life is tough but life wont b so hard bcoz of one's encouragement...=)

now only left 39 days fr my exam...start can feel the stress...but feel the loneliness first as quite a lot of frens will go back to home country to celerate x mas...

feel insecured cz the fren who helps me lots in study go bc as well...emmm.i said b4 that i will try not to rely on ppl for study but i jz cant, really need one to guide me in study...at least one i can discuss with ....wat shd i do now???all teacher will go on their vacation for xmas,....no one can i ask...i am all by my own...


aa...today watch series continuously for more than 8 hours as dun wanan back to study....broke my record in my life again...

dun worry th thing i cant do, but instead i shd focus the thing i can do now....

okie...wanna finish 3 certainty's note today, if not , i dun wanna sleep!!!!!!!