...............

always wish there is someone can accompany me to study until midnight..
always hope someone can be there to push me to study more when i am lazy..
always wish someone can like my kor always inspire me to face my fear,,but now he seem like always busy with his job..
always wish there is someone like my mum prepare food for me when i facing the exam..

i know i cant be too greedy now..all i need to do is bear with it 8 more months..

all i want now is just a simple word can do-gambate,,but y some ppl dun understand, or they have their own way of expressing it n it is just me cant grasp it....

long time din blog ...dun noe whnat to tell..lazy to upload photos as well..now busy preparing for my revision ..stressful...as usual, i am kind of lost now cz not enough time to study..my frens coming to find me , which is a good thing but i just too scare when they go back i will back to the cruel reality..so must study more before they come..

this few days busy too,...first is my da ka jie's graduation, then folowed by ytd xmas dinner..celebrated it earlier cz one fren going back today..so for 3 consecutive days i had beem eating, eating n eating....=) n my da ka jie brought me to the proper italian restaurant to treat me...i think so far is one of the most expensive dinner i had ..haha,,the funny part was we ordered to much food..after the starter, which is 2 soups n one plate full wiht fried seafood and meat , we aldy felt full n we couldnt finihs our main course ..ai, so no space keep fpr dessert..=(

but aft celebration , now dunnoe why feel empty, maybe i am kind of tired of handling all the things by myself...the week b4 i was sick the whole week..first was the sorethroat, followed by fever n cough..then stomachache for 2 continuing days..cant sleep for 2 night n eventually broke down n cried at 4am...so funny, i think i may gt some serious disease..haha, my imagination is good enough..may be i read too many cases concering clinical negligence..bt just too scare cz dun now what wrong with me and i dun dare to tell my family//..

that week warn me how precious my health is..

now i am totally recover..n i am continuing back my bad habit..sleep ard 4 smt..that iss bcz exam coming..n i have no choice..just pray hard my sorethroat n fever wont come back ...

oya..the picture was taken in oslo with my da ka jia..will upload it aft exam ..paiseh, tey, really no time to upload..

this exam is very important to me..it decides what grade i will get..i dun wann crash the hope i have ..i hope i wil be strong enough to meet my fear...jia you to me =)

My apolozy to my frens



sorry ,i really mean it to those friends who i have neglected...especially xinyi , eleanor, and many more...i have been tried many times to log in to this page but forgot the password and that y delayed till now..



el, promise will find u the next timei go back...sorry ///

n tey, thanks for the song...u always send me the song at the right timing..as now i am getting bored with the song in my computer..



I dunnoe what happend to me last few months but sometimes i felt lazy to take initiatives to contact people...as i always hope people will contact me first instead...so after few attempts to call ppl , to email them then i will start to give up cz i gt upset easily...My ego...-_-
what kind of ego is that???/
(EMmmmmmm????..hihi)



okie..will try hard to change that..



well, this year in manchester life is pretty happening...next monday will go to prague, later will go to Oslo, norway and may be later will go to visit my da kar che in birmingham!!!

so life wont be as boring as last year..



but y i still feel so empty in my heart >???i have been tried to mix around n socialise more and talk to more ppl but now i feel suddenly i am bored with who i am now...

someone told me :be urself n u dun really need to force myself to mix ard with the people u feel not really comfortable with



bt my another fren told me that since i am going ot be a lawyer, this is the socialising skill which u need to equip urself with this socialicing skill



start to picture how my future may be ???i wanna be a successful carreer woman with high confidence abt myself or just wanna be happy n find a nice guy maybe?

i am not so high ambition now..just wanna concentrate on my study and travel more perhaps..

this is the thing that i have some control over..stop day-dreaming!!=)

My working experiences...

this week will be my 5th week working in legal firm..
well, overall the experience is great as meet lots of people with different characters ..some of them are funny, outspoken, talkative or hardworking , smart or caring persons ...


really learn lots ...and expose me earlier to the adult's world as well as the legal occupation..and manage to get a deeper insight in it but it also at the same time make me wonder am i suitable to be a solicitor?

chambering students all need to work till at least 8-9pm and that is considered as the minimum working time for them//....this idea really intimidate me..and there are always tonnes of deadlines and format u have to comply with...omg, i really cant imagine how am i going to counter this by the time i become chambering student...-_-

then the next question will be am i choosing the right subject to study???well, i wld say that law is still pretty interesting , just that the workload is really heavy..

and as a chambering or attachment student normally we cant choose the works to do..so even it is a brainless work u have to do..

yeah, aft attachment wanan enjoy my holiday...will go to pigpig in singapore i guess..hopefully tey can go as well, then 3 of us can gather after such a long time we din gather ...now my holiday left abt one month and actually i am quite reluctant to go back...i can foresee i need to work really hard in order to push my grade up...so CANT LEPAK ANYMORE..

oya...there is still some exciting thing waitign me ahead..i will be the purplr people..haha..so glad that i can be one of the members,,i will try my best to assist other and hopefully can help the new students like last time how the purple people help me...but really i a bit worry given anyone who know me well will know that i have no sense of direction...how if i lead the new students to the wrong place ???/-_-'

god, pls dun let it happen///....=O

k, write till here..

i wish there is somebody there when i am depressed,
i wish there is somebody there when i need a companion
i wish i can hear a familiar voice when i wana cry....
i wish there is someone when i noe my result that time, but there is no one.

i wish somebody can scold me when i am thinking all these unrealistic things and urge me go back study..i dun wan the history repeat but i am heading towards that dicrection/./

what i want to do now, what i need to do now and i should do now is juts one thing -study,
i noe pretty well but forgive me i am complaining again......

evryone is feeling stressul, nervous and helpless, i noe i am not the only one, but i am the only one so useless...time for me to jia you..i dun wan me even look dwn at myself..

a joke

-which i copy fr tc's blog-

草原上有二只牛在吃草。

白牛问： 你的草是什么口味啊？

黑牛答： 草莓味。

白牛赶紧走过去，吃了说：哪有草莓味？

黑牛大声的答：蕃薯, 我是说-草-没-味！=)

What i call -Legal 'nonsense".....

Essentially, law has three nonsense:

1) one will say an extreme form of statement A, then another comments totally opposite side of statement B, then the next person will say we need to strike a balance between A & B, but the thing is how to strike a balance????& even that balance may be struck, then one will still say it is more towards statement A or B...so the argument will go on and on and forms the circularity of arguments....-_-

2)another is there is a conflict of moral principle A and principle B , then the question arises wil be is it possible to reconcile between these 2 arguments??Discuss.... -_-"

this make me sweating...cz the standard answer my gn p lecturer taught will be first, to soma extent, we can agree, but on certain points we can disapprove this argument-

then the conclusion will be sometime can , sometime cant, DEPEND THE CIRCUMSTANCES!!!!!(which make me sick!!)

3)the last will be there is always a general rule A, but in some circumstances there will be excptions in circumstances B, C and D...........
then the question wil be is it true that such general rules A still a valid claim or statement, assess and evaluate it..........

that is all the nonsense i am learning , sometimes i feel it is fun , sometimes it is funny but most of the times it make me feel confuse....

Wah, y suddenly my comment sounds like being influenced by this what i call " nonsense', as what i just say can be just = sometime i feel A , sometimes i feel C,( both positive sense) but most of the time i feel the opposite of B( negative sense) ...

haha...get it??if u dun get it, dun worry cz i also feel that i am talking nonsense too =)

phobia to exam

6 weeks left fr my exam..rational mind tells me i must study, bt i just went to the totally opposite side- spending 2 days to finish 42 episode drama series..

haha..break my own record-okie, time to study..

battle starts...aft that wil be able to go back to my sweet home..
bt that also means time to say good bye to marina -my da ka jie
-_-

i dun wanan say sorry to myself n my family this time..i hate myself for having such a weak personality....time to find back my confidence

ps:glad to noe tey has her own ambition, i wanna find my direction in my life too..
tey, i support u...

my result was out...it was worst...havent tell my family yet,,waitng morning only can call back..

how to tell them>>??i got 43 for my employment law, result i never even expect i will gt .other 2 -one 62 for equity n trust , another 55 for european union law..

first time in my life i ask wat is the passing mark.....
i thought i would do badly for e& T but never expect my employament n eu law will get so bad mark.

papa sure very dissappointed with me....
well, it is a truth , which i must accept, a lesson which i must learn and a price i need to pay for my laziness...though i may need sometime to accept it and heal from it..

人的一生會遇上的四個人


REad an article, find that wat it say is quite true, though not wholly.

人生就是為了找尋愛的過程，
每個人的人生都要找到四個人


第一個是自己,
第二個是你最愛的人，
第三個是最愛你的人，
第四個是共度一生的人.

首先會遇到你最愛的人，然後體會到愛的感覺；
因為了解被愛的感覺，所以才能發現最愛你的人；
當你經歷過愛人與被愛，學會了愛，才會知道什麼是你需要的，
也才會找到最適合你，能夠相處一輩子的人。
但很悲哀的，在現實生活中，這三個人通常不是同一個人；
你最愛的，往往沒有選擇你；
最愛你的，往往不是你最愛的；
而最長久的，偏偏不是你最愛也不是最愛你的，
只是在最適合的時間出現的那個人。
你，會是別人生命中的第幾個人呢？
沒有人是故意要變心的，他愛你的時候是真的愛你，
可是他不愛你的時候也是真的不愛你了，
他愛你的時候沒有辦法假裝不愛你；

你呢？找到了第幾個？
茫茫人海中，你遇見了誰？誰又遇見了你？

Valentine's day............



this year valentine's day was quite special to me..cz i , my da ka jie-marina n her flatmates had potluck together & each of us served western food..=)


Firts, was the starter-mussel & garlic bread , prepared by Nok..

it tasted so fanstastic...its standard can compare to the high class restaurant!!!
n oya, also not forget to mention the small brownish mushroom ball...n the sauce...the sauce was prepared by her..omg...so talented in cookking..but too bad when we asked how to prepared, she said it was her secret recipe....( aa,,...wanna learn hw to make it..it was so nice)


then it was followed by the main course-hungarian rice ..

haha..this time i got the recipe..shd be able to cook ...then can show off to my mum when i back to malaysia..haha

as u can see, the texture of the rice was so nice..omg..i shdnt write blog at such late hour..my stomach protesting aldy///..


then, was my turn...em..i prepared lamb chop..since when i so good in cooking???nono...actually i played cheat...the sauce i bought the instant packet but i did marinate the lamb chop n spend a long time in grilling the lamp chop///it was quite time consuming as u have to keep checking the lamp chop ..to make sure it was cooked but at the same time not overcook..



so i did pay effort to it,k?!!=)

so how was it??not too bad, right??

when one having western food, sure will have dessert- at tht night it was tiramisu..


prepared by marina..n it was actually i taught marina how to make it..haha..i am so proud of it..so if u wanna eat tiramisu treat me nicer =D

okie ..that all was my special valentine's day in uk//...oya..we also had red wine tat night//really funny...

sweet hometown will be less one more fren.....

em...apek going to fly tmr...that means even we gt chance to gather tgt then will be lesser ppl...
somemore even one day we all will back to malaysia..but that time will we still have the passion to gather tgt???

secondary school life so far is one of the best memory in my life...too many good memory in it...made me at one time keep thinking the stupid question : if i have choice, i will choose to remain at that time....but now i not really think so cz life moves on...n if u keep thinking back, that only will make ur life suffering..

friends that we will trust without hesitation, without affraid of being utiliised by other..frens we can say anything we like straightly without fear that those words will offend other...
maybe that was because that time we still a minor n not yet an adult...evryone's mind is as pure as a white paper..or maybe because of the accumulation of time...let us understand each other more n tying us up tgt...whatever the reasons are, i am lucky cqan meet so many kind ppl .....

by the time we all gather tgt...wonder how the feeling wil be..n how far each of us has grown up in the journey of life?? because of these memories make my heart always be with my hometown no matter where i am ....=)

the first exam paper i did really badly..that time really hope have someone can come n console me...but this time i chose not to call anyone n cry ....cz there is no point if i keep continue like that..korkor still is my mental supporter, cz everytime i did badly ffor exam, he is the one inspire me..that day cried too, but cried is normal to me..as no exam so far in my life i never cry..if u find one day i never cry for my exam,,then i am something wrorng...

but aft the first paper, i though i will be very sad...but duunnoe y i seem numb to it...today my second paper did badly again, though not as bad as the 1st one...emm...guilty just now wen my papa called..all these while i used to be very lucky in the exam but definitely not this time...manchester system is totally different ,..u can never predict wat it will come out in the exam..so u must study earlier..this is the lesson i learn...but i hope the price i need to pay wont be so high...

this exam i wanna learn how to control my emotion..this time i did better cz not like last time keep calling ppl just to make me feel better...a small improvement oo>>>still got last paper...yeah..after exam will play card overnight with frens ..sure willl be fun , right???=)

i really dunnoe how to overcome my fear now//...

my mind refuse to absorb any info, refuse to study..but i cant go to sleep as well..i try to relax..talking to frens ard me..but seem like not use to me as everyone here also very stressful..

i dun wanna show my depressed face to ppl ard me to make them more stressful, ii hope i can inspire ppl to study but i cant do that..instead, i am a burden ...this is not wat i want..

i dun dare to tell the truth to my korkor n family on the phone, pretending that i am strong enuff..pretanding that i am hardworking enuff....

ytd call to korkor .thinking that he is the only one can inspire me study, but i become more stressful aft that..realising more i need to study..

marina go back here will be better ma???she wil also very stressful i think///cant pass my fear to ppl ard me.....

overcome my fear, i wanna overcome it...

Home letter more precious than tonnes of gold

Receiving letter from home yesterday..Dunnoe why tears naturally dropping from my eyes....at that moment just feel that my empty heart suddenly feel warmer...

the same also occurred wen receive tey tey's xmas card/....but not crying that time.//=)but really appreciate it...

now only realise jia1 shu1 di3 wan4 jin1-home letter more precious than tonnes of gold

Really excited coz my family , though i noe they love me, but they never say it out..

thse few days my heart keep palpitating fastly cz exam left 2 weeks//..even aft talking with frens felt better but aft a while nervous again..

really dunnoe wat i am scared of.exam is not everything, but still, it is a major thing in my life thus far..

gambate >>gambate , keep gambateing..lih choon!!!